Opposite of desserts

Have you ever look back at your life

And ask yourself: What the hell am I doing here?

You know at times like this

No matter how many deep breaths I've taken

The anxiety is still there

I can't explain to you the amount of stress I'm experiencing

Because then you'd laugh at me

And that would be the very last thing I need at the moment

I tried motivating myself everyday

Telling myself to not give up

To persevere on until you reach the destination

But you know

As stale as it sounds, words repeated so many times kinda make you feel numb too

It's not helping that every morning when I wake up, my to-do list is equally as much

I don't see the end of this, a bit disheartening I guess

Weekends are like luxury now

I feel trapped

Trapped within the walls that I couldn't see

And it's getting suffocating in there

I wanna break free from all this

Wanna escape to a place where no one knows me

Wanna run like I never did

Till my legs gave in and just pengsan in the middle of the road

Wanna laugh at my craziness

Wanna ignore what tomorrow has for me

Ah, what am I talking about

All this madness will never happen


Or did it?

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Hmm, maybe I'm delusional :D

Restless

Yes, I know this blog's been dead for quite a while

Forgive me for my long absence ><

Sad to say, this will continue on for some time until I finish my obligated duties

Sigh

There's a lot of things going on since my last update, and it's too hassle to point out one by one here

But rest assured, they all happened for the better purposes X)

At least that's how I would like to think it as

Been keeping touch with a friend lately, and I'm really amazed at how much a person's life can differ when they are in overseas

Compared to her, I feel so much like a child

I can't imagine the stress she's going through, and I really salute her for being able to make it through

I highly doubt I can function as well in that kind of situation

Life is like flying a kite

When you pull it with full force, it's likely that your string would break

So don't ever think that you're having full control in whatever you're doing

Gonna start 3rd week posting in Ortho tomorrow

Sadly, I've yet to enjoy this posting as how the previous group put it

Maybe it's because I still haven't get a hang of it

There's so many things going on at the same time

CFCS, Research papers, EOP and also the theory papers for 2 postings

Damn

24 hours is simply not enough

It's only a matter of time that I fell off my chair and pengsan for real

And I shall not be surprised even when the day comes

UGH!!

I want holidays!!!!

Thank you is not enough

I was studying quietly in my room

Suddenly I heard people calling me outside

(Rest assured, no more horror story)

So I tilted my head out

It was my landlady

Tong sui = bubur manis, dessert

'Getting slim' is just her way of getting you to eat by the way

I went down the dining hall to find 2 packets

1 contains the red bean soup, the other with 2 pieces of yam cakes

Both of them are still warm

'Those are for you, make sure you eat them!' my landlady shouted from upstairs.

I was very touched

And feeling very pai seh

Because she treated me another meal (supper)

This morning she bought me laksa (I took it for lunch)

And the week before mee goreng (dinner)

Maybe it doesn't sound much

And you might retort, 'It's only a simple meal. Not like you're eating abalone or shark fin'

But it's the heart that counts

I'm not good in words

I can't explain to you how thankful I am

Because I've been saying that too many times, you might think that it's getting stale

It was the sweetest red bean soup I've ever taken

I feel blessed, Aunty =)

Jeb is a scaredy cat!

Jeb's rule of being home alone: Stay away from anything that has horror element!

But she wasn't smart to realised this until just then T.T

(Although not going out also even with bright sun)

So I watched some videos on Youtube

And didn't realised they were telling ghost stories until half way of the show

Coincidentally...

And I freaked out...

Turned out to be the repairman (don't know when did he enter the house)

Yea it was an anti-climax

But still, my heart stopped when he opened the door T.T

That's why people, if you're a scaredy cat like me (I highly doubt so)

Just be smart and stay away from horror movies/stories

The price is too much to pay T.T

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Give me back my camera *sob sob*

What makes you happy?

In 1970s, there was a research conducted to follow up on people who won the lottery

A year later, they interview these lucky people again to ask how they feel

It was reported that they were no happier than those people who didn't win the lottery

Researcher then refer this phenomena as 'hedonic adaptation', which implies that everyone (be it you or me) has a baseline of happiness

In short, it means that we experience happiness as temporary moment of joy

I don't know if I should be glad of human's ability in adaptation -___-

But I believe that there's no harm to keep in mind those wonderful things that happened to you

Before you took things for granted and realised how lucky you are X)

So I'm making a list for myself

To constantly remind me how fortunate I am

And be thankful in life :D

#1: To have 2 great people whom I can depend on

#2: To have a big family in school

#3: When I was finally able to the play the first song with my instrument (More like Negaraku of hell)

#4: To be accepted into Med School

#5: To know more brothers and sisters through God

#6: Discover the passion towards photography

#7: To have a pair of strong legs that enable me to explore around

#8: My first attempt in video making

#9: Pass EOS 5 and proceed to Clinical School

#10: Development of a first human character

#11: Holidays after a tiring posting

#12: To have the opportunity to travel around and savour all the mouth-watering goodies

#13: Companions on the same journey

#14: To have friends that are just a click away

#15: Establishment of a comic blog with many support

#16: When finger is gripped by baby cousin

#17: Cooking

#18: A 'Good' from lecturer (it's also a goal)

#19: Postcards that traveled across the ocean

So yeaps

These are the things that make me happy

May I remember them always

And give thanks of whatever I have =)

Hearing test

Went to participate in a hearing test for batchmate's research group today

It was really cool

Unlike the cranial nerve examinations we were taught, they actually use a device to check the frequency of our hearing!

*excited*

So we're urged to put on this kinda-heavy-and-gigantic-looking-headset and given a device to hold on to (for which you're supposed to press when you hear a tune)

They will test your hearing each ear respectively and you're supposed to hear a tone of different frequency

Although the test was conducted in a sound-proof room (I bet you can hear a needle fall onto the floor even) it's kinda hard to 'catch' the tune

What more to say, the tone you hear will get softer and softer each time

I've to strain my ears really hard, to the extent I actually stop my breathing

Another thing that is eerie is that

You can actually hear your heart beating, like the ones you get in horror movies (before the ghost appears)

I wonder how do they expect us to concentrate when all these sounds are obscuring the tune

In the end I gave up

And just follow my heart

So I just pressed whenever I 'think' I hear the tune (could be imaginary)

Surprise, surprise

Turn out that my hearing is normal after all XDD

Thank God

Of course it comes with a price
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The whole test took my breath away

Literally ><

Ok lah, not to that extent

But when the test ended I was so relieved 'cause I can finally breath normally

It was fun, you guys should try it

(trying to drag more scapegoat to hide the embarrassment)

That's probably gonna be the most happening event for me during this holiday X)

GBU 1129

It is true that good things happen when you least expect it

Someone shared this email with me, so I'm posting it up here for everyone

Hope you like it as I do X)


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Dear Lord, I thank you this day. I thank You for my being able to see and to hear this morning.

I'm blessed because You are a forgiving God and an understanding God.

You have done so much for me and You keep on blessing me.

Forgive me this day for everything I have done, said or thought that was not pleasing to you.

Please keep me safe from all danger and harm.

Help me start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude.

Let me make the best of each day to clear my mind so that I can hear from You.

Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control over.

Let me continue to see sin through God's eyes and acknowledge it as evil.

And when I sin, let me repent, and confess with my mouth my wrongdoing, and receive the forgiveness of God.

And when this world closes in on me, let me remember Jesus' example -- to slip away and find a quiet place to pray.

It's the best response when I'm pushed beyond my limits.

I know that when I can't pray, You listen to my heart.

Continue to use me to do Your will.

Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others.

Keep me strong that I may help the weak.

Keep me uplifted that I may have words of encouragement for others.

I pray for those who are lost and can't find their way.

I pray for those who are misjudged and misunderstood.

I pray for those who don't know You intimately.

I pray for those who don't believe.

But I thank you that I believe.

I believe that God changes people and God changes things.

I pray for all my sisters and brothers.

For every family member in their households I pray for peace, love and joy in their homes that they are out of debt and all their needs are met.

I pray that every eye that reads this knows there is no problem, circumstance, or situation greater than God.

Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight.

I pray that these words be received into the hearts of every eye that sees them and every mouth that confesses them willingly.

Lord, hear our prayer.

Amen.